Prospects of a long, hot summer bring pet peeves to the surface

Surely someone besides me encounters deceptive packages of frozen microwaveable meat. “Tear here,” they cajole. So, you tear on the dotted line, only to discover that it’s an inch BELOW the grooves required to reseal the package. Are the designers at the meatpacking plant crosseyed, or just bad with math? Instead of calculating how many insect parts per MILLION are allowable, they’re probably singing a Mary Poppins-ish, “A spoonful of thoraxes makes the sausage patties go down…”

Yes, “resealable” is an asterisk-worthy marketing blurb. Packages ought to say, “Resealable – UNLESS you get a bunch of breading in the grooves and have less than 15 minutes to vacuum them out. Under those circumstances, we recommend resealing with the carpet staplers manufactured by one of our subsidiaries.”

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